17 Feb Dear White Castle
Why do you hate me so much? I know I didn’t grow up with you, so I’ve developed no means of guarding my stomach against the trouble that you’re known to cause an intestine or two. I can understand why you are an acquired taste, given that your ingredients are quite possible harvested from a dumpster in war-torn Chechnya. It’s ok – it’s a tough economy. What I don’t understand is why, after years of gazing up the drive-thru franchise in the Bronx, when I chose to first set foot in one of your stores, you would make me feel welcome with an assault? I know that that homeless guy must have been frustrated, but did he really need to throw a box of Chicken Rings at my head? Wasn’t the indigestion going to be enough pain for one day? I just don’t understand.
If I can muster the strength to try it again, I’ll hit up your location across from my alma mater on Fordham Road. Clearly they have a more welcoming environment, what with their internationally-themed menu choices. I prize diversity and a lack of violence in my fast-food dining experience, and as such, think that this would be a better match.
PS. I completely understand setting up shop next to Pete’s Cafe. They have been overrated for a long time, and this coming from a girl who ate the rehydrated scrambled eggs at the Fordham cafeteria.